pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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