I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
