Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
