We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The best revenge is premature balding
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
