True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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