shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
