Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
