i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it glows. i had to have it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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