if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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