Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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