But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
