I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
