You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
