i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
