I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
