i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
