If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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