What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
