the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
