so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
