i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
