And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
