Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
