Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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