i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
