Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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