in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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