who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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