There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
