ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
