Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize