he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
