I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
