He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
