I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How naked do you want me to be?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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