shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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