"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
