Kiss
Puke
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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