ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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