Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
