My room smells like vodka and shame
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
