Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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