Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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