You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
