I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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