Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
