The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
