is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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