Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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