There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
