I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
