The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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